Have you seen my baseball?

My pal Jorge in Nueva York gave me two tix to Barry Bonds final SF game last night after he was forced to cancel his trip to Cali, but on two conditions:

1)I had to boo him.
2)If I got my hands on one of his balls (get your mind out of the gutter), I would have to split the proceeds.

Done.

S and I made a beeline for the beer stand the minute we entered the gates (naturally), then headed down to section 140 of the bleachers where we discovered we not only had a fantastic view of left field, but were surrounded by folks quite fond of the chant:

"What's the matter with Barry? HE'S A BUM!!!"

Three beers in, I was shouting "You Suck!" like a true champ, but to avoid confrontation I left it at that in an effort to make Barry lovers believe I was accosting the Padres. We even befriended some wasted old dudes seated to our left. When S asked if they would take our picture, this is the gem that was produced:


Awesome, can't wait to frame that one.

Barry failed to knock one out of the park during his final time at bat in the 6th, and after the 7th Inning Stretch (it's a tradition) we decided it was time to head home. It's not like they were going to win anyway.

Ouch.

"LaToya Jackson. What does it take to be known as the 'crazy' member of the Jackson family? "

TB: Hey, I just met with a client who has this panty line, they're disposable thongs and I wanted to give one to H.
Me: Eew.
TB: No, they're really cool. They have that chemical in them, what's it called? Starts with an "F." You know, it makes you more attractive to other people?
Me: Pheromones?
TB: YES! So will you make sure she gets it and knows it's from me?
Me: Oh I will.

I have my moments.

3:14pm
Office
Everyone is high on halloween candy and eager for the wkd.

K: S, why aren't you coming to Arcade Fire with us tonight?
S: because my husband has been away for a week, so you know...

Me: It's business time.

hysterical laughter ensues at the zinger I just bestowed upon my co-workers, and a couple of folks even chime in with "it's biznass, it's biznass tiiime."

Brazilliant.

For those of you out of the loop:

A Pirate's Life for Me.

I made my way over the Bay Bridge Sunday to soak up some sun and some alt rock at TIMF, which brought back fond memories of the Siren Music Fest at Coney Island, only with less carnies.

Au Revoir Simone was oh so lovely.

photo by Stefanie Michejda

Two Gallants were mayjahly exuberant.


photos by Stefanie Michejda

M. Ward was subtle and sweet while Clap Your Hands Say Yeah went buckwild.

And Spoon made me swoon, or should I say Britt Daniel did, especially when-after a feverish guitar riff-he realized one of his shirt buttons had come undone and flashed the audience a cheeky grin as he remedied the sitch.

Meow.



photos by Stefanie Michejda

Unfortunately, me mates and I had to skip out before Modest Mouse took the stage, since we'd pretty much been standing for 8 hours and our soon to be peglegs were about to give out. Even though it saddened me tremendously to leave Johnny Marr behind, sometimes you have to quit while you're aaaarhead.

brill.

Seth Green Chris Crocker Outtakes

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Fact: Bill Murray is a God.

Tom Skerritt

The office obsession that still hasn't died. Thanks to Kelly we're all walking around calling each other "Betch" and "Deck."

hooray hooray, I'm your silver lining.

Rilo Kiley at the Warfield equals an hour and a half of deliciousness. The only downside was the granola dude who looked like Jesus and sat next to L and I. He felt it completely appropriate to take his shoes off and rest his dirty dogs on the railing in front of him. It wasn't very Holy.

Sidenote: M decided to photoshop a zombie head into the image when I asked him to resize it for me, so there's a nugget of added enjoyment for you.

It's Britney, bitch.

I'm not sure which is scarier, this

OR

this:

I'm not old, just clumsy.

Based on my Walgreens purchase this evening consisting of an ACE bandage and an ice pack, thanks to what I can only guess is a sprained wrist, the lovely drug store computer system thought it was appropriate to spit out a coupon which best profiled me as a consumer. God only knows what I managed to do to myself (this time), and as much as I'd like to admit that denial followed by a House marathon leads to a legitimate medical diagnosis, it does not. Even if you do find yourself oddly attracted to Hugh Laurie as the Vicodin popping, insult spewing, physician incarnation of Sherlock Holmes.

I'm glad to report I'm now eligible for an AARP membership.

I never thought this day would come. Or at least not for a few more years...

I miss Invite Them Up at Rififi for the following reasons:

Demetri Martin



Eugene Mirman


Bobby Tisdale

YAYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!