And you wouldn't be so brave if you'd ever smelled the Bog of Eternal Stench.

Dear Co-Worker,

When dropping a deuce in the office toilet, one so foul it's as if you've made a pact with the Devil-for God knows what-and he's carrying out his well hatched battle plan to slaugther everyone's olfactory epithelium's (not gonna lie, totally had to look that up), then please, please, PLEASE have the courtesy to not only use the ginormous can of air freshener purchased for just such an occasion, but it might be wise to leave the door ajar in order to air it out a bit.

Thank you kindly,

One of three employees who had to hold their breath while peeing.